Scarborough Centenary Hospital

Bev Miles

A Mom's story. My 25 yr old son Adam was brought in by police on Sun May 6 at 5am. He was intoxicated, a little delusional and full of rage. The police felt there was more going on than intoxication. He has threatened to kill himself on three separate occasions including this one. The police asked me to come to hospital to talk to crisis workers and thought he warranted a form 1. I arrived and spoke with a physician. He seemed mildly interested, explained that Adam was very intoxicated (that was obvious). I told him his history and past threats. He basically said they wont keep him, he has an addiction they wont form 1 him. He said I have two choices the drunk tank or hold him and see a psy. What a ridiculous thing to say , what do you think an extremely upset mother is going to say when her son is out of his mind and threatening to kill himself. I walked in desperate for help and left that hospital with nothing and even more desperate. Don't tell me that he has to want to help himself he doesn't know how and I know that but how is a parent supposed to try everything to stop the cycle and from killing himself if those dealing with it only see him as intoxicated and virtually uninterested. Not once did someone offer me any tools to help him, not a recommendation, a pamphlet, nothing. He was everything they likely described. Just because he tells them he isn't suicidal doesn't mean he isn't. I did speak with a crisis worker Tolu, she was very nice and took down my story. She placed me in a hallway so that I didn't have to listen to him freaking out in the room. Said she would tell the other crisis worker where I was so she could speak with me and the psy may also speak with me. I waited for 5 hr and finally went to the front desk. Again spoke with a very nice nurse. They didnt know I was there. She spoke with a second crisis worker who said he wants to see me but he has to calm down first. So I waited, told them where I was. Another hour, The next thing I get a call from my son saying he got out of the restraints and left the hospital I hate you for leaving me there by himself. When I went to ask the crisis worker she wouldn't even come and talk with me. She only talked with me when I finally went into an area that apparently is restricted. I did that on the recommendation of the nurse at the desk. Crisis worker was horrible, treated me like I was just another stupid mom. Unsympathetic didnt offer me any guidance, etc. Wonder if she has kids and guess what they are even your kids when they are 25. I'm an educated person, but I'm human but she barely treated me that way. I asked why nobody came and got me she had no answer. Asked if he saw the psy, he did but nobody spoke with me. She then said too bad he left he could have benefited from the program and went on to say apparently, according to the discussion that I was the issue for his rage and she believed him. I wasn't even there when this happened I only got a call from the police. The psy didn't talk to me, that crisis worker was dismissive, uninterested and condescending. She showed 0 compassion and made me feel like I was bothering her. I walked out of there feeling more desperate and sick than when I walked in. I am not proud of my sons behaviour in fact im embarrassed but your hospital didn't care. I know he's an adult I know about privacy but they could have made more effort, even could have spoken to me. This hospital should not be treating mental health patients, you need to show compassion to the families so desperately trying to do the right thing. If My son had been one of the doctors or nurses sons that had worked at the hospital they would have kept him, they would have tried harder. If my son does kill himself you should remember my name. .

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